


Eyes are the Window to the Soul

by take_me_to_mars



Series: Eye Color AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Caring Deceit | Janus Sanders, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Good Friend, Depression, Gen, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Self-Care, Logic | Logan Sanders is a Mess, Mild Hurt/Comfort, References to Depression, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27617408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/take_me_to_mars/pseuds/take_me_to_mars
Summary: The Sides have eyes that constantly change colors to reflect their mood, but Logan's been wearing contacts for years to hide his depression.---This takes place in my AU on Tumblr, where the headcanons can be found. (I'll get to posting those later)All you need to know for this story is that Logan's eyes are mainly a dull grey, which represents his depression, but he's been wearing icy blue contacts to hide it and come off as unfeeling.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Eye Color AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2061642
Comments: 3
Kudos: 90





	Eyes are the Window to the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Gen Headcanons: https://take-me-to-mars.tumblr.com/post/633174968488886272/random-fic-idea-that-occurred-to-me  
> Eye Color Key: https://take-me-to-mars.tumblr.com/post/633501478614712320/some-more-eye-color-au-headcanons
> 
> You don't need to check these out, but they provide more background for this AU.  
> Please be kind, this is my first time putting something I've written on here, and this is the first thing in a while that I wrote that wasn't for school.

Janus knew that something wasn’t right in the mindscape. He couldn’t pinpoint _what exactly_ was wrong with the mindscape and it was irritating him to no end. It’s been driving him crazy for _weeks_ now, part of Janus’ job is to make sure everything is going smoothly, and yet he couldn’t figure it out. If he didn’t figure out what it was _soon_ his self-preservation instincts would be going crazy. _There_ . One of the lights had just lied, and a pretty big one if he could detect it from the dark side commons. He had a vague notion of who it was, not that many sides were up at three in the morning. _Time to find out._ Deciding this was a better lead than none, he made his way to the light side commons.

Sticking to the shadows, he slowly made his way to where the light sides’ bedrooms were, and only saw one room with a light on. _Logan_ . Janus’ brows furrowed in confusion, what could Logan possibly be lying about? Especially in the middle of the night? Making sure no one was lurking in the shadows, he slipped across the hall and cracked open Logan’s door. Looking into the door, it was everything he could do to not give himself away. Logan’s room was a _mess_ , which wouldn’t be weird if it was any other sides’ room. Logan was always a stickler for neatness, but now his desk was cluttered with stacks of paper, his tie lazily draped across his chair, his bed unmade. But what took Janus aback the most was Logan’s _eyes_ when he met them in the mirror.

The logical side’s eyes were _dull_ . Logan had a reputation for having intimidating cold icy blue eyes for as long as any of them could remember, eyes that seemingly represented the cold and unfeeling part of logic. _But Janus has always had a vague feeling that Logan’s eyes were_ wrong _, he could just never place why_. If Janus thought hard enough, he would see flashes of Logan with golden eyes when they were younger. When did that change? Now, his eyes were mostly grey, with flecks of orange and deep blue sprinkled in. If his eyes were mainly grey, then that meant Logan had been like this for a long time, that Logan could-

“Janus. Is there something that you need at this hour?” Logan interrupted his thought process, staring at Janus blankly. Janus couldn’t meet his eyes. Janus got a good look at Logan for the first time in months. His normally perfect posture was gone, shoulders hunched and skin paler than it should be. He was swaying where he was standing.

“Logan!” He moved to steady the side, “what’s going on Logan? Why-” he asked gently, “why _aren’t_ your eyes like this?” He put his hands on the other side’s shoulders, trying to maintain eye contact with those dull eyes. 

“It’s nothing of consequence, I am fine. I just need to get back to my desk,” Logan brushed off Janus’ hands and unsteadily made his way to his desk. Janus narrowed his eyes, something _wasn’t right_ with Logan, and regardless of how the other sides viewed Janus or how much Logan would deny it, he wasn’t just going to leave Logan like this. Janus didn’t only represent lies, he was first and foremost Thomas’ self-preservation, and that extended to the self-preservation of the other sides. Besides, he always did have somewhat of a soft spot for the logical side, they understood each other, and he could remember a time where they were friends before the shift in the mindscape took place.

“Logan, something _is_ right here, and I’m _going_ to leave you here. If you don’t tell me, I _won’t_ be taking you to my room,” his room where he could force others to tell the truth if he wanted to. He didn’t _want_ to do it, but he _wanted to help Logan_. Logan glared at him, clearly weighing out his options before sighing in resignation.

“Fine, though I do not see how this is of any benefit to you. I am depressed, if you could not tell by the color of my eyes,” Logan stated bluntly, taking a seat at his desk. Janus looked at him incredulously. 

“Yes, I _hadn’t_ gathered that, but what _hasn’t_ happened to make them that way. Your eyes _aren’t_ a different color normally,” he explained, setting a fixed look at Logan.

“They’ve been this color for a while, Janus. I wear contacts to prevent the others from finding out,” Logan sighed and began to explain how his depression manifested. Being ignored by the others most of the time and their jokes at his expense had gotten to Logan, but Logan didn’t want to accept his feelings. So he repressed them. He thought he was supposed to be cold and unfeeling, so that is what he tried his best to become. Janus wished that he had found out about this earlier. Logan had closed himself off for years, had let everyone believe he didn’t care when the fact was that he cared so much it hurt. He could’ve prevented it from getting this bad, how had he let it get this bad? He was supposed to _know_ when things like this happened.

“Logan, we _don’t_ need to fix this. I _can_ leave you here, I’m _not_ going to take you to the dark side commons,” he put his hand on Logan’s shoulder.

“I don’t know why I expected something different,” Logan took a breath, “I’m just so _tired_ Janus,” Logan breathed out.

“I _don’t_ know Logan, but I’m _not_ going to fix this, I promise. Come on, you _don’t_ need to get away from here for a little while,” he pulled Logan against him into a hug. Logan just nodded into his chest, and Janus sunk down, taking them both to the commons. He took them both over to the couch, putting Logan’s head in his lap, “ _don’t_ get some sleep, we _won’t_ talk more tomorrow.” By the time he had finished the sentence, Logan was already asleep.


End file.
